"Negative Energy" or "Meet Blergh!"

Gosh, you guys, I'm having one of my few high points right now! I just noticed that I may have consumed half of a bottle of vodka, but that the whole bottle only carries 500ml. ONLY 500 ml, Y'ALL!! That means that my body absorbed less calories than I thought! And hey, my victory dance burns even more calories! Wowza! I'm such a rational guy! EXCLAMATION MARK! [Edit: I wrote this 2 days ago. Drunk writing ftw!]

"Damn, Max(imiwax), why are you drinking so much?", you may ask. Well, to drown this little monster inside of me. This tiny, black, malicious being that developed over the past few months. Let's name him "Blergh". Blergh is my inner demon. The one that keeps me on edge, the one that makes me aggressive. The one that makes me who I am NOT. A terrible, hate-filled guy with anger management issues. 

No matter how everyday-Max feels and behaves, one little incident out of order and BAM! Blergh comes out to play. He makes me raise my voice, makes me grunt and shout, makes me say things that everyday-Max wouldn't say on his worst day!

Mean-spirited arguments and sometimes even racial slurs find their way into my reactions, even though they do not represent my opinion at all! Well, the sassy and witty comments might spring from my inner gay diva, but all the other ones originate from Blergh's dark soul...

Blergh is also responsible for my malicious joy or "schadenfreude", if you will.. His black heart regales with the suffering of others. I even find myself secretly enjoying the pain others experience while dealing with a break-up or with a loss of some sorts. Because when they experience it, I don't have to. I compare my situation with their current unwell-being from bird's-eye view and consider myself lucky and happy, then.
Me > them. Therefore: Me = happy.

I always hated these compilations of allegedly "funny" home videos where people fall down stairs or stumble over a chair, but these days, I think Blergh would be having the time of his live, if he watched a few hours of this kinda show through my eyes.

(sorry, I HAD TO use a falling baby. Just 'cuz)

Of course, I thought about Blergh's origin. And I think it kind of matches the big picture:

Me being alone-alone for the past months (or maybe even years) => Having too much energy.

And in this case, the energy is of the negative kind.

The fact that I'm dealing with being single and more or less suffering from the rejections by writing about it on a blog may seem crybaby-ish and like it's the only thing on my mind right now, but let it be said that this is not the case and that I'm alright. I'm just documenting the consequences ;)

But to everyone who is going to see or meet me in the next few months:

If you try to annoy me in any way and see this look on my face

Run.
No, seriously, run.
Otherwise, Blergh is coming to getcha.
And he's hungry for (your) pain!

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~music time~

Let's forget about all this negativity and distract ourselves with some sweet jams!

Greetings
~Maximiwax'*