Tiny Hand


Gay Dating Websites

Anyone who watches "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" can understand my bewilderment about the fact that even Mama June, or as I like to call her, "Redneck Jabba", found a man that loves her.
"Sugar Bear" might not be an Abercrombie&Fitch model, but hey, he's crazy about that vajiggle jaggle!

It's nice to know that there are people out there that find their soulmate someday.
But it's also depressing to know that you're not one of them. And even more so, when you think about the Honey Boo Boo example.

As a gay man, you might not be able to find interesting, like-minded men everywhere you go, but they are out there. One way of finding and communicating with them is using the unlimited expanse of the www - the world-wide whorehouse.
Meaning: gay dating websites.

Let me get something straight (haha) before I cut gay social networks like "GayRomeo" some slack:
It works for some of the users. I know several boys and men that are in a healthy relationship thanks to GR. You get to know people on a -more or less- personal level who you might've never talked with in real life and who you might've never met if it wasn't for the Interwebz.
The anonymity, though, leads to very unidirectional conversations, most of which are resulting in sexting and sex dates. Usually, the older these guys are, the pervier their fetishes get.

When I started chatting with other gays online, I used to prefer writing messages to older guys, since they are the ones that are often interested in "fresh meat". My inexperience and twinkiness came in handy when it came down to getting views and footprints*
[*footprints are little stamps that you can "leave" on a user's profile after opening it. The user then sees the footprint next to your face in the list of guys who clicked on his profile. Very useful for when you're not in the mood of writing a message to that person]
...So there was this guy and he wrote "Hey, you're cute!"
Being uninformed about the culture of chatting back then, I thought this was a nice way to start a conversation. A few messages later, he asked me if I could do him a favor. 
He wanted to send me a cheap plastic watch that I should wear for 3 weeks without taking it off. He also insisted that I wore it while working out (HA! as if...). He then wrote, that after these 3 weeks, I should send the watch back to him, so he could pleasure himself while smelling the dirty, sweaty, musky plastic watch.
He had no profile pic (which is always an indicator for BEWARE, IT'S A FREAK!), but this is how I imagined him to look like:
But this was not the end of TwinkMax's journey in the world of gay online obscurities.

As if this was not enough of a challenge for my innocent mind, few months later, when I turned 18, a guy texted me that he lived in my area. I was a dumb little kid who thought it was a good idea to include my district in my profile, so he knew where I lived.
He *gulp* wrote that he wanted me to take a shit on his bare body every weekday at around 7 o'clock in the morning. He also wrote that he would've paid me for every shitting session.
I mean. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. ???
Scat, which is the term for this kind of fetish, is the epitome of a no-no. What's wrong with people like him? What went wrong in their childhood so that they could become people who get aroused by SHIT?  
Okay, this might be an extreme example of weird fetishes in the gay dating world, but there are other, more specific fetishes that are just as bizarre.

This one time, these two dudes wrote me. They used a partner profile, which basically means that they shared it.
Both of them did not live in my town but slept in a hotel here due to some business meetings. They wanted me to visit them in their hotel room, dressed as a housemaid (in a FEMALE uniform! And commando!). They then would lie in their king-sized bed, naked, and I was supposed to lie down between them. They explicitly said that they did NOT want sex (pfffshhh, yeah right) and that they only wanted to "play" with me a bit. I think they used the word "begrabbeln". The whole thing also in exchange for money...
I... I cannot even... I mean... I'm just extremely happy about the amount of rationality and sanity that I inherent and the fact that I never made use of any of these offers. My brain is already damaged enough! I don't want to imagine how wrecked and abused lil' Twinkmax would've become after these guys' "begrabbling" O.O
Maybe gay dating websites are not the way to go. Or at least not for me. I guess it's way healthier to find that special someone in real life.

And hey, maybe I already met my Prince Charming! On a train!

The last time I used the train from Jena back home to Gera was after an alcohol-intensive evening with some friends. When I was minutes away from arriving at the last station, this guy came through the door and he took my breath away. 
Literally. The smell of beer was too much for me to handle. 
He stood in front of me, already standing on the stairs that lead to the door of the train, leaning each hand against a wall so that his feel-good body would not stagger. His cap hid his beautiful brown curls (fingers crossed that he actually had some hair underneath that hat), his long eyelashes floated mid-air right before his dazed eyes and his pouty lips were surrounded by a scruffy three-day stubble - just the way I like it.
When he noticed me and that I looked at my watch, he asked me for the time. I told him that it was 02:09 and added a lil' "Worried that you'll get the tram, huh?" with a mild smile. "Yeah", he said. "You, too?" - "Well, it arrives at 02:10, so we better hurry!" And then the flirting began... "If we don't get the tram, I'll pay a cab for us both. You seem nice", he said..
"Oh, it's okay, I got my mp3-player so walking home shouldn't be a problem. But thanks.", I said. Stupid me. That guy obviously wanted the D and my politeness got in the way!
And then we leaped out of the train, sprinted towards the tram station and in that exact moment, the tram drove away. The guy repeated, "Well, my offer still stands! I'll take care of a cab and we two can finish the evening together, if you want." With the hint of an ambiguous smirk.
And again, my innocence and modesty were stronger than the wish of embracing the tender touch of a fellow drunk. So I wished him a good night and walked into the grey darkness that is Gera at 2 a.m.
I should've joined him on his way home. I should've felt that we were made for each other.
2 drunks, 1 train. A love story like no other.
I think, I made a huge mistake.
But maybe we'll meet again. On another train. At another time. With different amounts of alcohol running through our veins. And next time, I'll take that cab with you, my love! <3
So no matter what I do, I end up alone. Because I'm too proud about the fact that I stick to my morals, because I'm old-fashioned and interested in more than just short-dated satisfaction.

There are only 3 things left to cheer me up:
- food
- long hours of sleep
- and music.

Which is why I'll now drown myself in these following tracks. Feel free to join me!

~music time~

Also check out the trashy/cool music video here. The more you watch it, the more you'll like it, I promise! :D

So this is this month's first post. What can we take out of this?
If you're searching for love, look for a way that you feel comfortable with. And if you're afraid of weird fetishes, creepy fellas and unfulfilling relationships: Stay away from (gay) dating websites!


1 comment:

  1. 2 years ago i had a very special encounter via GayRoemo. He was a very cute boy: brown hair, brown eyes, sweet face, not bigger than me. He looked a little bit like skylar astin. Not much younger than me… In fact the boy from the dreams of my sleepless nights. No minute left I put a tap (foodprint) on his profile. “cute” the only thing I even could say while visiting his profile. Some minutes later there was a message “hey cute… how do you do?” It was him. It couldn’t be even better. Sometimes I think about how better the world could be if I would miss this shi* fu**ing this pink glasses I always have, when I see someone sweet. We wrote about everything… him.. Me… the others… about school… and about my work as a male nurse... “Later…” I told him “I wanna be a doctor of surgery”. “Fine” he told me. “So what about anatomy?”. At this point I have to say that I think that there is nothing that could be more interesting than human anatomy and physiology. ‘cause the human body is no more than a car… with an engine, a gasoline tank and a exhaust… if something miss or broken the whole system begins to break down… “I like anatomy really much…. I think it is very interesting”. “so what about a little time of slaughter? I could arrange one… mouse, guinea pig, sheep, cow… what do you want?” here I have to say something: I grow up in a little village in the middle of a big forest… for us it is nearly normal to slaughter once a year… since a was a little boy I know about slaughting rabbits, because we did it every year around the birthday of my dad. Nowadays not as often as in the “good old times”, because we don’t have the time to raise rabbits or cooking big meals at Sunday. Back to the story: at this point I had to think about what crazy person could sit in front of the profile I was chatting with. But you know about the pink glasses? I agreed and said that he could choose for both of us (not really important to say that he had chosen a sheep while chatting with me). But the craziest thing (remember we were chatting in GayRomeo!) was his last message: not only did he want me to slaughter with him together. No! After that he wanted me to fuck him, while the sheep bled out… over his body… over his mouth… over me while fucking him, surrounded by body organs of a sheep. I mean yeah! There are people with fetishes in the world… and yeah there are crazy people in the world… but there are really such crazy people in the world like in “incision”?! I couldn’t explain, but at this point my world of GayRomeo was damaged for a long time, and my sweet pink glasses boy blocked.