Tiny Hand


" " "ART" " "

When I was just.. a liiiiittle girl, ...I asked my mother, "What will I be?" ...
 - Well, not quite. When I was a little boy, I always got asked "And what do you wanna be when you grow up?", and my go-to answers were cook (cooking=eating=omnomnom), restaurant tester (=eating=omnomnom), interior decorator (=gay), sumo wrestler (=fat) and ARTIST.

Little did I know that being an artist means actually creating something. And being good at it. When I found out that my lazy ass is supposed to learn several drawing techniques in order to become a skilled artist extraordinaire, I immediately gave up my dream of swinging the paintbrush to the rhythm of my colorful, crazy mind. What I did not give up was the hope of having the opportunity to somehow incorporate my creative side into everyday life and maybe, later on, use it within my profession.

The older I got, the more I distanced myself from the world of art. Or maybe the other way around?
The thing is that I just don't get the concept of modern art anymore, no matter how it is realized. Music, theatre, paintings - it all just became this incomprehensible blob of wanna-be-unexpected in-yer-face "art".

For instance: Millie Brown. 
As a gay guy, I'm bombarded by the media with news that have to do with Lady Gaga. I won't talk about HER and her art, just 'cuz, but about one of her favorite artists. Millie Brown - a "vomit painter", if you will - creates art by drinking colored milk and then regurgitating it onto a canvas. I repeat: she more or less spews out a milky rainbow onto a white surface and then calls it art.
Puke -> art.
Sometimes, she even has some creepy soprano singers behind her to make the whole thing into performance art. The kind of art I hate / do not understand / dislike the most.
I have to admit that the bright colors and their fluidity work well on a flat surface, but why, WHY do you have to throw up milk to create that effect???
See for yourselves and make your own opinion:
I personally think that this has nothing to do with art. The piece, that you see in the end, demands you to acknowledge that it was puked out by Madame Brown. Imagine the smell of that painting after a few weeks! Yikes! As I said, it kinda looks cool, but the way it is created and the way it is presented as something so out there and crass puts me off.
To me, this is no art.

Talking about crass performances - there might be something even more unsettling to me. Something that I experienced myself (unfortunately)...

One or two years ago, my then-boyfriend and me went to watch "Woyzeck" in a theatre in Hanover.
Little did I know that it would be the most painful thing to watch for me EVER!

When you act, draw, sing or perform in any way whatsoever, you need to have a connection between what you do and what you want the audience to think or to feel. At least that's what I think. In-yer-face theatre (this is a real thing, y'all!) misses this connection in my opinion. It sure does create an effect, but I never understood why they do what they do in the given circumstance. It's just what the name tells you - it's in your face. Unsparing, crazy, loud, flustering, weird shit to fuck with your mind.
And that's exactly what the theatre play was. The actors were naked half of the time (which has nothing to do with the play), the doctor was a white painted, demonically acting older woman (which has nothing to do with the play), the whole thing was playing in a circus ring with half of a van attached to the background (which has nothing to do with the play), and there were numerous other failures happening. One major fail which disgusted and shocked me the most was when a middle-aged guy entered the circus ring, only wearing a huge British bearskin on top of his hat and a kilt. He walked around in circles, stomping his feet on the ground to some maniacal beat inside of his head, then stood still, lifted his kilt above his belly button and then shook what his mama gave him.
His penis.
And his balls.
For what felt like more than half an hour but what was around 5 minutes or so. But still. 
There was no sound, no explanation, just this good ol' naked fella humping the air with his dangly junk for several minutes. And the worst part: You were supposed to take it seriously. Because it's art, you know. This means something! The way he shook his shaft and jewels represented the clash of generations in our society! Yeah...
To be fair: His wiener was humongous. I'm not a size-queen, but let's be real - Compared to the rest of that shitty play, it was a piece of art.

Before I show you my favorite tracks of the last few weeks, let me briefly tackle the topic of internet-pseudo-art.

I can officially say that I'm a tumblr person now. And by clicking through different blogs, I noticed a weird, new trend that has to do with "artistical" posts. It seems as if our generation is in love with faded-out colors, transience, emotions and other LanaDelRey-y stuff. As soon as it looks alternative and hipsterish, it's artistic.
Let me show you an example:
Let's combine flowing color powder, a sephia effect and a powerful word that challenges or influences you in your oh so hard knock life.
 But it's not complete! To underline the seriousness of the image, you need to add one little detail. 
A dot.
You get the same effect by choosing lines like "Hope. Breathe. Love." and the like.
Isn't it weird that cheesy words combined with an old-looking or emotional picture to accompany it have this kind of effect on us (or let's say: the majority of the Internet)?
If this is the future of art, I don't want to become an artist anymore. Good bye, childhood dream!

Okay. Let's see if this post's tracks are more appealing than a floppy, swinging schlong :D


~music time~

I hope, you enjoyed this post :) If you did, like the blog on >Facebook and follow it on >Tumblr. !!


No comments:

Post a Comment