Tiny Hand


Being Manly

Throughout my whole life, I've been told that I should man up or that I'm too feminine. Even before sexuality and gender were of importance - meaning in 2nd/3rd grade - other guys called me a "fag" only due to the fact that I showed my emotions and was interested in "unmanly" things.
I can't understand what was so fascinating about Barbie dolls at that time, but damn, I loved them! I had more than any of my female school friends combined! And only Barbies, no Kens. I even had some dancing lessons in an otherwise only-female-group. My world was marked by everything creative, colorful and in general untypical for a boy to like. 

Since then, not much has changed about the stereotype "man". I still feel as if I'm not a full-on manly man, just because I don't grow a beard, I'm extremely bored when it comes to "manly topics" (cars, sports and the like) and my body is more pear-shaped than broadshouldered-tinywaistedsuperhero-esque.

... I recently started to do something about this. I'm approaching what my Y-chromosome had in store for me when I popped out of my mother's flesh-colored Cthulhu. I'm even in the process of liking the thought of being a manly guy. I will never be a moustached, bench-pressing Casanova with a splendid mane of chest hair and a Porsche which is parking in a self-built garage. But I can be that guy with a three-day stubble dancing in the corner to a track by Robyn, a guy who is able to lift half his body weight in water bottles and who lasts more than 5 minutes.
In bed.
I'm talking about sexy-time.

Some days ago, I tried to attach a glass shelf onto my wall, which included drilling a hole. A "normal" dude shouldn't have any difficulties with this. And normally, I'm this kinda dude. But for some reasons, everything went wrong and now I doubt my inner "Bob the Builder". A normal drill hole is big enough to fit the dowel in. Mine ended up to be big enough to fit 3 or 4 fingers in. Everything went according to plan, until I wanted to put the dowel in and it got stock, somehow. After ripping it in half while I was trying to get it out again, I widened the hole to the stated width. The rest of the dowel remained in the wall. Then, my brilliant brain had the idea to get the rest out with the drill itself. Well, the tip broke off and got stuck in the wall, as well. What was left was a damn mess and a huge hole in my wall, which I had to cover up with a piece of wallpaper. 
Bob the Builder... Now I know, why my lecturer called me "Bob" once...
No matter how manly a man should be and how much I want to represent this stereotype, I will always keep the things that I stand for and that interest me. Even if a normal guy could/should be ashamed to like them. For instance my love for NTM shows.
When I first watched ANTM (America's Next Top Model), I knew that this, yeah, this show right there, is what would become one of my favorite shows, and it still is up to this day... Today, I can proudly (?) say that I watched almost every NTM show there is:
America's NTM, Australia's NTM, Germany's NTM, Britain&Ireland's NTM, Canada's NTM, Asia's NTM, New Zealand's NTM... the only ones I did not watch are the Italian, Greek, Dutch and some other versions...
I just like how overly dramatized these shows get and how unrealistic they are compared to the real modelling world. But hey, some of the NTM models had a really good career after the show! Why do I know this? Well, because I even keep track of the models after the shows. That's how fucking crazy I am about them.
I think, I may have a problem...

The only manly thing about me is my chocolate voice. Yeah, you heard that right. My normal voice may not be as raspy and deep as you would imagine a manly man to sound like, but when I get to a certain point of drunk-ness or when I'm working on my voice for a certain time, I can pull the lever and change my voice from every-day-squeaky-Max to dark-skinned-chocolate-God. My voice then can fill the whole room with excitement, bringing you in a state of peace and arousal at the same time. The atoms of your body begin to vibrate and you may need a moment before you can get your mind out of the gutter again. Unfortunately, this chocolate-y sensation is reserved for special people (I'm talking about sexy-time, again [which means: only for fellas]) and is also restricted to the right surroundings and other factors and therefore not accessible at all times... What a shame...

So what do we learn from this?
Nothing, I guess. Maybe "As long as you feel good about yourself, you don't need to change in order to fit into an imaginary cage given by society." Or maybe just "Watch ANTM. It's fun... Really!"

Before I introduce the music part of this post, let me clarify this: There are 2 tracks that have Rihanna in them. Shocking, I know. What are Rihanna songs doing here on ~Maximiwax~?
Don't worry. One of them is a Diamonds mash-up that kinda works for me - the other one a song with "Rihanna" in the title.
listen to the music! :D


~music time~

M83 / Rihanna - Midnight Diamonds (Divide&Kreate Mashup)

I think, I said it all...
Have a nice week, guys + gals!


1 comment:

  1. Yeah, I have to admit this reminds me to my childhood. Time to get rid of those stereotypes and give non-conform boys and girls a more friendly world to grow up in.