Tiny Hand



If you could be any animal, what would it be? Hm?
Interesting answer.
But it's wrong.
The right answer is "A MOTHERFUCKING PANDA!"

Our world is inhabited by a small number of magical, cuddly creatures - the best kind of living creatures there is, if you will. Even better than us humans! Which is why I dressed as a panda for Halloween this year. I wanted to feel special, cute and superior.
And I did.

But why are pandas so awesome? - You may ask. Well, here are a few reasons:

The panda's digestive system is actually designed for meat. But as you know, they eat leaves and bamboo.
That means that they are on a constant vegetarian diet. To be exact, their nutrition consists of 99% bamboo.
We should all have pandas as role models when it comes to our eating habits! Nobody is as fab as these modest, undemanding fluffballs!

A panda's face looks soft and round, but it sure is NOT chubby! Pandas have massive cheek muscles and strong jaws that models would die for. They can chew an aluminium dish into tiny pieces! So pandas are the ultimate munch-inators!

One thing many people always forget is that pandas are bears. Yeah, like, everything about them is bear.
Except one tiny little habit: They do not hibernate. They don't say nighty-night and lay down for a few months after eating profusely. They are up and about throughout the whole winter season! Dem pandas are werkin' all the time, honey!

Another characteristic of the panda family is that they are very social. They use scent markings, have different calls for different situations and dangers to notify their bros and gals and - which I find especially intriguing - they have occasional meetings every day just to hang out. I imagine them as the cool kidz from the zoo. You know, the kind that chats and gossips about the other animals...

If you know one thing about me, then it's the fact that I have a thing for poop stories. I don't know why...
And the fact that pandas can produce up to 62 pounds (~ 28 kg) of poo in 24 hours is just flabbergasting!
That's approximately 1/3 of my body weight!!
I hereby bow down to my masters...

The last fact I want to share with you is about their skin.
You would think that pandas have one skin tone under their fur, just like almost any other animal. But that's not true. They have black skin under their black fur and pink skin under their white fur.
They are biracial! So pandas are THE mascot for equality and anti-racism! They don't differentiate between the races!
They are black, white (I mean, we Caucasians look kinda pink, too) AND Asian!
And chubby!!!!

And this is why pandas are the most awesome creatures on this planet.
Full stop.

And to illustrate their awesomeness, here's a gif-overload with pandas being hella adorbs!

And now that your heart is full of joy and happiness, your ears will follow suit!

~music time~

That's it, folks!
Have a nice week!


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