Bachelor=student+single

This isn't just an ordinary life update!

This is a VERY ordinary life update!!!

There hasn't been a blog post in all of June. A blogging break for over a month! And why? Because I was busy. Wait, WHAAA? YOU were busy?! Hellz yeah!

Let's stop the clock for a sec and look at a fat-ass, juicy slice of time!

Right now I'm in a shitty kind of gray area between being a student and working as a responsible adult; between asexuality and longing for the D; between insanity induced by stress and being permanently attached to my bed due to sloth-like behaviour.

I got everything I need to finally end this energy-sapping learning phase. Hurray! Most of my recent exams were oral exams (which comes as close to anything oral-related as it gets, hahahuuuu). But even though my professors love my voice and its qualities, are happy with the content I create and think that my answers to their questions meet their expectations, I'm still suuuuper nervous before each exam. I studied 4! damn! years! and I still act as if I'm a startled 13-year-old in front of his judgemental classmates. Whenever I get a new task, I black out and become a lunatic trainwreck!

The only thing that kept me from losing what is left of my sanity was succeeding and shining as the leading role in a live audio play with my fellow students, an adaptation of the fairy tale "Jorinde and Joringel".

People complimented me on my role and our group was happy with the outcome of several weeks full of hustle and bustle. As you can see, I enjoyed the performance. Very much so.

Anyway, I got almost all of the credits I need to wave goodbye to this hellhole of an institution and I even have a topic for my bachelor thesis - everything that's missing are some texts and studies that can help me out.

The more I try to find anything related to CMC (computer-mediated communication) and its influence on current everyday language use (which is a fucking nice topic, if you ask me!), the more I get frustrated.

The more I get frustrated, the more I shut down.

The more I shut down, the more I eat, play games, watch animes and procrastinate in general.

And the more I procrastinate, the more furious I get about my fat lazy ass 

and my inability to focus on my goal.

It's a never-ending spiral of confusion and frustration.

But once I've done all this, I'm gonna celebrate like I've never celebrated before. Champagne, lobster, bitchez, bling and gettin' crunk like no other! MARK MY WORDS!

And as it seems, not-learning and procrastinating are the only things I do in my comfy bed besides eating and sleeping. Nope, no booty hole gets its well-deserved attention. No pole gets polished. Not a single button gets pushed and there's no valve for any kind of tension or pressure.

But Max, you've lost soooo muuuch weight! You look so much better now blahblah there must be a boy for you somewhere blahblah I bet dem boys go crazy for you hahahablahblah!!1!11!!!!

It does make a difference, of course. Weighing over 30kg less than a year ago makes me look like a different person and somewhat comparable to the typical mainstream small town twinkboy. But it's mostly just guys over 40 that would like a piece of some young, inexperienced boy ass that isn't totally worn out. Or guys around the age of 18 which derive from the XD-generation - meaning a generation that has no problems but THINKS it has a shitload of them and which is barely able to write a full sentence without sounding like it misses half of its brain. And unfortunately, the rest of the guys that are interested in me hasn't really been my type, yet.

Which made me think... Since there ain't a guy out there that is really into me as much as I'm into him and since I can't put a ring on my laptop because it doesn't have a finger for it to put on, I should just marry the other thing that's just as close to my heart and that knows how to make me happy!

I've known it for all of my life, we've been through dick and thin, it knows my special places and we're basically already attached to each other!

..."Rightie", darling? Would you... would you share the rest of your life with me, no matter what cums our way?

And so, Max and his right hand lived happily ever after.

THE END.
(EPILOG: Max' right hand supports him with his bachelor thesis and he finally gets his degree. Yay.)

----------------------------------------------

~music time~

This time, I thought I'd switch it up a bit. I cannot give you a long-ass list of songs that I've found since my last blog post. There are just way too many. So I made a little playlist for you guys! 15 songs from the past 2 months that I've arranged in a beautiful sound bouquet for your hearing pleasure. ENJOY, MOTHAFUCKAS, ENJOY!