Welcome to "Adventures with Max" - the show where we journey through the streets of Gera to discover and observe rare and unusual wild life! I'm your host Max 'Bearhugger' Wachsmann.
On this week's episode of Adventures with Max, I show you a particularly special being that is shrouded in legend and undocumented - UNTIL NOW!
The weirdus galus psychonensis - also known as the "Gabi"
Pict.1: A wild Gabi
Rarely out on the street, the Gabi is said to usually camouflage amongst a small group of weirdos and hippies (in this case: shroomies). Since these cliques were nowhere to be found at that time, the Gabi seemed to feel pressured to get out alone and venture out on a walk within the community of us "normal people".
As you can see in Pict.1, the Gabi was utterly surprised to see me. Mainly, because I did not break eye contact with her. I was so intrigued by her coincidental sight that I wanted to take the chance and get near her. My main target was the supermarket behind her, but who can resist the temptation of documenting the behaviour of such an abstract figure?
The Gabi's appearance was of remarkable peculiarity as one can imagine.
Her brown fur (hair) looked messy and scruffy. Some experts say, Gabies shorten their own hair to prevent excessive sweating and overheating in the summer. In this case, the Gabi's hair showed signs of rough cutting with a blunt blade, an axe, or a chainsaw.
The Gabi wore no shoes, a short pair of pants and a loose-fitting tank top which still displayed her ribcage. In her hand she held a small, orange bucket with uncertain content. I tried to identify what was in it, but I couldn't get a look at the inside of the bucket. It might have revealed something - her goals, her conditions, her purpose... But I guess all the information about her background will never be known.
Apart from her excited look and a psychotic, strained grin, the Gabi's face had two further interesting features: an inflamed eyebrow piercing and a missing tooth. The latter contributed to her shaggy look.
Usually very shy, the Gabi talked to me when I walked past her. Really, SHE TALKED! There is no record of the Gabi's ability to talk! I felt very lucky to be the first person to document this outcome.
What I understood was: "You seem like a nice person. You smiled at me. Isn't it a lovely day to chat with someone?"
Here is a video of the Gabi walking by my side:
Video1: The wild Gabi walking next to me and interested in a conversation.
Still, I was not able to look inside the bucket. A shame, really.
Then I suddenly had the urge to get away from her. The look on her face, the fact that she was so open and talktative and the sudden setting were too much, even for an adventurer like me.
I wanted to continue my shopping spree and avoid further contact with the Gabi. Who knows which diseases I could catch from a member of the weirdus galus family? She noticed my impulse and uttered "You're in a hurry, huh?"
When I obviously aimed at a different path, the Gabi finally left with the words that still ring in my head:
"The clouds, think about the clouds! One is laughing, the other one is not!"
What did she mean by that? Is it a code? Can the Gabi see the future? Maybe one needs to distance himself or herself from what sounds like complete nonsense. But maybe we should all worship the twisted mind behind these glassy, twitching eyes and think about laughing and non-laughing clouds...
Tune in next time to find out more about more about Steve, the entrepreneurial pedophile with a glass eye!
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~music time~
(MASH-UP ALAAAARM!!!:)
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