I haven't done a blog post in a looong time (at least it feels like an eternity to me), but now I finally found a few minutes of silence, solitude and peace to get back to blogging.
In the meantime, I've done many things, met new people and was asked (or forced) to do stuff I never did before. It's been a learning process of some sort and apart from essential and practical skills, I learned a handful of abilities and lifehacks that make my life easier. Here are a few of them:
Smalltalk
I've been working with Parkinson patients for a linguistic/neurological study for two weeks now. More or less 8 hours a day. This, of course, includes talking to the patients, making sure they're alright, interacting with them and in the long run, maybe even bond with them a little bit.
As you may know, I hate people.
Like, almost all of them. Strangers are the worst. Old people - don't even get me started.
Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I've acquired the knowledge and the social skills to be on one level with the seniors when it comes to smalltalk. I get their worries, I get their hopes, I get what happens in their life, I get THEM.
Admittedly, all they really wanna talk about is the good/bad weather and their diseases, but hey. Cut me some slack! I deserve some credit for dealing with them - given that I'm the ultimate misanthrope!
(recycled picture for obvious reasons)
Freezing
For some reason, I always wore t-shirts at work. That was a big mistake, because dem sunny days still felt far gone and the temperatures were like "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman..." - only with "winter" and "spring".
But the cold didn't bother me at all. I then realized, that I'm totally down with being cold and definitely prefer freezing over sweating like a pig. Good thing I don't own any other casual clothing for my upper body except for t-shirts.
One time, one of the older patients pointed out my pointy nipples. (MY EYES ARE UP HERE, LADY!)
After that, I noticed that there was not one time that my nipples were flat like they should be. Always poking through my shirt, checking out what's going on in this world.
*BING, here we are! What's up world? Nice, chilly weather, heh? Haha we are nipples*
Honestly, my nips could cut glass when I'm freezing!
Footwork
I may have the most unpractical, boxy and bulky flesh-props for feet (I can't even pick up a pen with them ._.'') but I learned to do everyday tasks with them instead of using my hands. Really convenient if you got no hand left due to holding the munchies stock.
Closing/opening doors? No problem.
Reaching for that book on that table because you're too lazy to get out of your cozy bed? Done.
Balancing a glass of water (Let's just call it "water", ok?) because it threatens to fall over and wet your bed (I've been spending a lot of time in my bed, lately, hm?) ? You got it.
Looking better in photos
Let's be honest: There's no such thing as justice and equal chances when it comes to looking good. Some are luckier than others, some just look busted all the time. But there is something you could call "internet pretty".
You may not be oozing beauty and attractiveness in real life, but once you know your angles, find the light and work the camera, you got yourself a pic that you look half-decent on.
And that's what I mastered.
My face doesn't know what symmetry is, my skin is bad, my teeth aren't straight and my hair has the mood swings of a 13-year-old.
But give me a few minutes, a smart phone and maybe access to some image editing program et voilà:
I look like a normal human being! In the best case maaaaybe even a tad handsome. But only a tad.
WITH a bit of work
WITHOUT
Just print out a pic of me before we meet and staple it to my face if you wanna spends some time with me.
That should do the trick!
Apropos "trick", here comes the last and most important ability that I've acquired:
Tricking people into thinking that I can draw
Yes, I put a lot of work into these stupid little comics. And yes, they somehow support the blog posts and you can fairly recognize what it is that I drew. But my drawing skills are those of an 8th grader.
As the attentive reader that you are, you know that I wanted to be a painter when I grow up. Unfortunately, I came off the art track and slithered on the let's-just-study-something-and-see-how-it-goes track.
I have some understanding of perspective, color coordination and realism. But give me a task like "Max, draw a tiger for me! One that is running a bit towards you with an open mouth!" and all you get is a kindergarten-y cat with an angry looking smiley on it.
I may not have accomplished much in the last few weeks, but these abilities are worth something, right?
Right?
Right.
Baby steps, Max, baby steps...
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~music time~
There are sooooo many tracks that need to be shared, but it would go beyond the scope right now...
Just check out -> maximiwax.tumblr.com and follow me there to get regular updates and music posts!
Please comment below if you want more music-based content with a bit more depth or just a blog post like this one! I'd really appreciate it :)
Enjoy the week and welcome the sun!
Greetings
~Maximiwax'*
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