The "MMM"

I don't always have dates.
but when I do, they are an utter failure.

I overcame my fear of *urgh* getting to know people and met a guy in the city I'm studying in, and it turned out to be a disaster. Not only did the evening lack any kind of chemistry between us, but that dude also had the nerves to make me feel like an ugly, inferior dumbass.
If you're reading this: Go fuck a cactus :)

But the open-minded, joyous and wannabe-social person that I am, I tried to conversate with this lil' dipshit in a neutral, sustainable manner. And then I remembered a technique I've been using for the last couple'o'years to keep a conversation alive that I don't wanna have in the first place or where it is unavoidable to zone out.

The "Malcolm in the Middle - Method"!
I'm not sure in what kind of context the show addressed this method, which episode it was or who of the characters actually used it. I think it was the little one. But I know that it was this very show that introduced me to the idea of rephrasing / reusing words of the person concerned and turning them into a question.
It goes like this:

Bla Bla blabla Bla Blabdibla X, blabla Bla.

Oh, X blabla?

Yeah, Bla X bla, but blaBlaBlabla and Y Blabla!

Cool, so Y bla Blabla?

and so on...

Good:
Normally, the other person doesn't notice what you're doing. He/She keeps on going and going and going if you don't stop them or if they don't have something called "social intelligence" - a topic I already wrote a blog post about waaay back in 2012 (click here!) (so embarassing...).
Furthermore, you can think about important things like "Is this olive or moss green?" or "I wonder if aliens have livers, too..." while half-assedly listening to what your partner has to say.

Bad:
If your friends know this technique, they can call you out on it when you use it.

So just to let you know, guys: if I ask you something in this way, it doesn't mean that I don't wanna talk/listen to you. Here's a hint: Look at things like body posture, eye contact and interaction to find out if your friend is really listening to you!

Also, the lack of interest/attention + over-generalizing the method + too much patience can lead in the wrong direction. What might've started as a normal conversation can turn into an infinite loop of nonsense and suffering.

So when you're faced with a crampy conversation, try out the MMM!
But beware of the possible consequences...

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...What else could MMM stand for? That's right, Maximiwax' Music Mix! There you go! :D

~music time~

 




Let me know if the method worked for you! :)
And enjoy the rest of the week!...

Greetings
~Maximiwax'*

Meet "The Beard"!

Happy New Year, fellas! I wish all the best to everyone of you!

Every. Single. One of you.

...Except for maybe this guy: "The Beard"

 

The Beard is a tall, lanky dude with the miraculous gift of being able to turn a happy smile into an annoyed look of desperation in milliseconds. I first met him on my train back home where he overheard a conversation I had with one of his (")friends(") and he immediately joined the chat. I had no problem with him infiltrating into the relatively closed social environment because I thought I would never meet him again.

Oh boy, how wrong I was... For the last, like, 1 or 2 semesters, The Beard searched my company whenever he had the chance to and even chased me at the train station or on the train, just to start the most awkward conversations I had in my entire life.

As I recall from my subconscious intake of whatever ill-timed and unsuitable information that came out of his furry mouth, he studies history and philosophy. Yay, what a great combination! Exactly what I'm into!!...

Unfortunately, he does not only study in Jena, too, nooo, he also lives near the same train station that I frequent, so I get to talk to him even more. And I thought I had good karma...

I think there is something seriously wrong with that guy. He does not perceive and process interpersonal signals as a "normal person" would. A "normal person" would get the clue if someone didn't like him, avoided him, walked into a different direction just to evade any contact with him. Noooot this guy!

He sneaks up to me and just starts blabbering, even when I face the other way, earphones in my ears, reacting to his "Gooood mooorning!" with a look of disgust and an irritated mumbling.

As I said, he has the gift of being ultra annoying and awkward. And luckily, I'm not the only person who thinks that. In fact, everyone seems to be reserved when it comes to a dude with a chitty-chatty hobo aura like his.

When I talked with a friend about how we miss our math classes from school and how we can't even remember all the variables and letters that stand for mathematical phenomenas, he just changed the subject to abbreviations for machine-guns (MG somethingsomething) from the Nazi regime and the army.
He took a joyous, nostalgic chat and flushed it down the depression-drain!

And don't even get me started on the beard itself and his whole look!

... Well, too late.

He looks like an Amish with a hat that's somewhere between a Homburg and a Stetson (I had to google "hats" just to figure this out). He always wears a long-sleeved, white shirt, buttoned up to the very last button, (no matter how hot it is outside!) and a long pair of dark-blue jeans. He once told me that he didn't shave for the last 5 years. Like, anything. Meaning: every part of his body is au naturel and bushy! *shudders* Including his hands, which he creams every now and then on the train (it looks like he rubs the hand lotion into his hand fur more than into the skin. If I still had a gagging reflex, THIS would activate it!)

And the beard.. oooh the beard...

He once (or maybe twice) ate lunch with me in the canteen of the university.

He ate soup. And something else that's already messy to eat.
I watched him eat that shit.

There were soup drops in his mustache when he finished the soup. And he did not care to get rid of them.

There were chunks of food in the rest of his beard. Chunks and bits that normally fall back on the plate. But not in his case. His beard was full of food remains and I dare not to think about what else was hiding in that chin-mane of oily, dandruffy hair!

I once had the image in my head that if he had a cat and came home from studying, he would just hold his beard above the cat's bowl and shake it. And everything that drops into the bowl would be the cat's "catch of the day".

 

I guess I'm responsible for my own nightmares.

What I need for 2014 is something to finally get rid of him. Something that turns him off so much, that he just stays in his weird corner... thinking weird thoughts... looking weird... talking about weird stuff with other weird people that get him and his absurd way of just BEING.

I guess that's my New Year's resolution.

Staying away from The Beard.

So let's get our thoughts on something more pleasant than food chunks and insufficient hygiene:

MUSIC!!

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~music time~

It's been a long time since I presented new tracks for you, guys. So I just made a lil' collection of songs that I found in the whole month of December. Enjoy!

That's it for now. You can't imagine how fun it was to finally draw something for this blog again! :)
Fingers crossed 2014 gets better than 2013!

Greetings
~Maximiwax'*